Down to my last strike

These few months at Goodyear have been very stress full. Trying to qualify and certified at a job has been painful. First, it was trying to build small tires that didn't work.  Then started trucking in the banburys seemed like a better situation, but after an accident that went out the window.  Now, I am down to my last strike on this new position as a booker.  I mean this is it for me...if this doesn't work I am gone from Goodyear.  I need to keep working as well as keeping my benefits. I sometimes wonder why God has brought me to this place. I know he doesn't want me to fail, but why put me in through painful situations if your not succeeding.  If this doesn't work I don't know what I am going to do.  Sure, I have dreams of what I would like to do, but am I also realistic of what is out there and what my skills and talents are going to take me. My problem has been many things of reasons (or excuses) of why I am not doing what I should be doing.  Not following through, not making connections, attitude, not believing in yourself, trust issues with management....I could go on and on, but I won't bore you.

What has happen to me? I use to have joy, excitement about work and life.  Now, I just seem like I am just going through the motions and it seems that it seems like it is barely there. Everybody knows I am going through the situations with the blood pressure and the diabetes. Although, I am also dealing with some personal demons that have haunted me for awhile. I won't say what they are but pray for me that these go away.

sincerely,
Tim Crippen